Sexual Addiction Therapy

Do I Have a Problem With Sexual Addiction?

Sexual addiction is a part of a life that is marked by out-of-control sexual behavior and is often accompanied by denial, rationalization, minimizing, and lying. Are concerned that you or someone you love is suffering from sexual addiction?

If you answer yes to three or more then your sexual addiction may need addressing:

1. Have you failed to resist sexual impulses to engage in specific sexual behavior?
2. Have you engaged in those behaviors to a greater extent or over a longer period than intended?
3. Do you have a long-standing desire, or a history of unsuccessful efforts to stop, reduce, or control those behaviors?
4. Have you spent excessive time obtaining sex, being sexual, or recovering from sexual experiences?
5. Do you become obsessed with preparing for sexual activities?
6. Have you engaged in sexual behavior at times when you were expected to be fulfilling an occupational, academic, domestic, or social obligation?
7. Have you continued your sexual behavior despite knowing it has caused or exacerbated persistent or recurrent social, financial, psychological, or physical problems for you?
8. Do you need to increase the intensity, frequency, number, or risk of sexual behaviors to achieve the desired effect? Or do you experience diminished effect when continuing behaviors at the same level of intensity, frequency, number, or risk?
9. Have you given up or limited social, occupational, or recreational activities because of your sexual behavior?
10. Do you become upset, anxious, restless, or irritable if you are unable to engage in sexual behavior?

Ready For Recovery?

Successful long-term recovery from sexual addiction requires more than just finding sobriety. Recovery requires developing the skills through a series of tasks that are specific to sexual addiction. Borrowing a quote from Alcoholics Anonymous, “getting sober is easy, staying sober is the hard part.” Unfortunately, there is no quick fix for recovery. A life of recovery is more than just a life of sobriety. When we show up and do the hard work of recovery, sobriety is a byproduct of living an authentic life. We do not recover from addiction but rather we recover ourselves in the process of healing the addiction.

The Path to Recovering From Sexual Addiction

The first step to recovery often begins with what the movie production world calls the McGuffin. In a movie, the McGuffin is the “object or device that serves merely as a trigger for the plot.” In Harry Potter, it’s the Sorcerer’s Stone. The stone drives the plot. Without it much of Harry’s adventures and thus our enjoyment of the beloved series, would not have occurred.

For those on the other side of addiction, it becomes clear that addiction is the McGuffin. This drives the recovery of self, the healing from trauma, and making peace with the anger, shame, and guilt that drives the addiction.

The Recovery Path – Phase 1

Sexual addiction is a disease of obsession. The path of recovery involves completing certain milestones with steps along the way to guide you to the next marker. The tasks during the first phase of sexual addiction recovery are to help you stop the troubling behaviors. As well as gaining enough progress to proudly say that you are in recovery and have established three to six months of sobriety.

In this first phase of recovery, you will take a thorough series of assessments. This is to make sure that you are getting the appropriate levels of treatment. After the assessments, you will plan with your therapist what is appropriate to your level of compulsive behavior. This plan will include individual therapy. It may also include connecting with a group of compassionate, non-judgmental others who are on the same journey.

The Recovery Path – Phase 2

The second phase of addiction recovery focuses on strengthening your internal character structure. This is to help you live a life of healthy sustainable recovery.  The process of therapy helps you shed light on and address the issues for which the addictive behavior became the solution.

You will make sense of your own story and find ways to make peace with your fear, shame, grief, loss, and trauma. During phase two of sexual addiction recovery, you will also gain a greater understanding of the impact of your family of origin.

The Recovery Path – Phase 3

The final phase of recovery takes the skills and knowledge you have gained during your sexual addiction recovery journey. You will apply them to all areas of your life. The road to recovery is filled with doubts and fears. But working through these problems develops resilience, perseverance, courage, and insight. In the final part of the journey of sexual addiction, recovery life becomes about your passion and productive focus. This is compared to the obsession and fearful hiding that was driving addictive behavior.