After discovering sexual betrayal, the world and relationship become full of chaos, trauma, and hurt. Early on, the healing focus is often on the acting-out partner or healing the relationship. The betrayed partner often gets left behind, delaying their healing. When partners do get help, it is often not the correct help suited to dealing with betrayal trauma.
Infidelity, pornography, or other sexual acting out that violates the bounds of a committed relationship triggers Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Symptoms in the non-acting-out spouse.
Responses After Betrayal Trauma
When infidelity or sexual acting out breaks trust, you may feel like you are losing your mind. The shattering of relationship safety leads to fear, anxiety, and anger. What you are experiencing is normal and is referred to as betrayal trauma. The symptoms of which are very similar to PTSD. Intrusive thoughts and images, an inability to eat or sleep, depression, and anxiety, are all signs of post-traumatic stress. These are normal responses to sexual betrayal.
Reliving The Discovery
In the aftermath of the discovery, despite one’s best efforts, it is common to keep reliving the events of the discovery in your mind both when awake and asleep. Your mind is trying to make sense of a confusing situation. Thinking about anything other than what has happened to you seems impossible.
Avoiding Places That May Trigger You
Another typical response to infidelity or other sexual betrayal is avoiding people and places that might trigger you. This avoidance contributes to changes in your personality. Previously outgoing people become withdrawn, and once active people become lethargic. It can feel like living in prison. The shame and embarrassment cause betrayed spouses to cut off even relationships that could be supportive.
Mood Changes
Mood changes are also a typical response in the aftermath of sexual betrayal. Often spouses blame themselves for their partners acting out. It’s not uncommon to start to think that your partner acting out is a result of you not being “good enough,” “pretty enough,” or “sexy enough.” These thoughts become sticky in one’s mind and lead to a further increase in depression and anxiety. Again these are symptoms of posttraumatic stress. In recovering from betrayal trauma, learning to resolve these negative self-beliefs is a critical issue.
As the safety of your relationship and even your world becomes threatened through sexual betrayal, you longer feel safe. As a result, you may find yourself on hyper-alert, constantly scanning your environment for the next threat, wondering where your spouse is or what they are doing. Living in this heightened state of arousal exhausts the body’s resources. Eventually, fatigue sets in and can turn into depression or suicidal thoughts. Inability to sleep and outbursts of anger are all a part of hyperarousal symptoms and a normal response to the trauma of infidelity.
I write this to let you know that everything you are experiencing is normal and that hope and healing are possible. It is a difficult journey that takes time and daily effort. Our staff and therapists at East Cobb Relationship Center are here to guide you at every step. We work with individuals healing from sexual addiction, partners who suffer from betrayal trauma, and couples trying to rebuild after betrayal. We do this work every day and would like to give you the tools to start your recovery and create a meaningful, peaceful, healthy life.
Goals in Therapy For Betrayal Trauma
Establish Safety
Our first goals are to help you establish safety as you discover what are often the many layers and stages of deception. You will also learn to recognize your trauma symptoms and take the first steps toward reestablishing safety. During the first part of your recovery from betrayal trauma, we help you navigate disclosure of the acting-out behavior. Disclosure and discovery occur in many different ways, including surprise discoveries, forced admissions, and staggered disclosure, which happen when you learn the truth a little at a time. We help you bring order and clarity to the disclosure process.
Set and Maintain Boundaries
After the trauma of discovery, we continue to help you establish safety by learning to set and maintain appropriate boundaries and find a suitable support network. We also help you manage the emotional aftershock, process your pain, release your shame and anger and begin to see hope again. Part of recovery from betrayal also involves learning to tune into your feelings and communicate your emotions, pain, and hurt in a calm, authentic and assertive manner.
Reclaim Your Life
If your partner is a sex addict, we will educate you on the nature of sexual addiction and help you learn to differentiate between sobriety and recovery. Like many roads of therapy, there will be much grief. Eventually, we will explore the possibility of forgiveness as a gift to yourself on the journey of reclaiming your life. During your recovery journey, we will also explore ways to reclaim your sexuality and make healthy, empowered choices for the future.
If you are experiencing the wound of betrayal trauma, the above might seem like too much to process. That’s because right now, it is. The journey of recovery starts when you make the call. Our experienced therapists are standing by to help you navigate this journey. We guide you through this journey one step at a time.
Begin Therapy For Betrayal Trauma in Georgia Today
Ready to begin healing from Betrayal Trauma? With therapy for Betrayal Trauma in Georgia, our team understands how important this healing journey is for you. You’re here to start healing and we want to support you and help you navigate this journey. To get started follow these simple steps:
1. Contact us for a free consultation
2. Meet with one of our caring therapists
3. Begin your healing journey